Some of the most common concerns teen patients have when discussing going back to school and reconnecting with their friends are often surrounded around their social relationships. Things such as, what will my friends think? What will my friends say? What will my friends do?
In our clinical service, we spend a lot of time helping young people determine the best way to mention their living with a mental illness to their friends, teachers and other social networks. As much as we try to help, the transition can sometimes not go as smooth as planned. Sometimes friends won’t fully understand.
One thing that we often tend to not pay enough attention to is helping people understand what they can do to be supportive. It now occurs to me that some of the people we complained about not being helpful and supportive may actually have wanted to be, but didn’t know how.
Maybe it wasn't always the friends avoidance or apprehensive behaviour that was the result of stigma. Maybe some of that could be been due to awkwardness and not knowing what to say or do – something like what happens when you go to a funeral. You know, what do you say to someone who has just lost a parent? It’s never easy.
So, maybe it’s the same thing when supporting a friend who has a mental illness. What do you say? What should you do? It’s not always easy.
The recent edition of Moods Magazine has an article that can help people who have a friend living with a mental disorder. It’s called, “Ten ways you can support a friend with a mental illness”. For example, here’s the list of ten – in the order they appear in the article, not necessarily in order of importance.
1. Get in touch with your friends
2. Understand that its not your fault, in fact it’s no one’s fault
3. Don’t task yourself with changing your friend
4. Listen, listen, listen!
5. Get our of the house
6. Put yourself first
7. Be positive
8. Be a resource
9. Be respectful
10. A list of web resources is provided in the article
2. Understand that its not your fault, in fact it’s no one’s fault
3. Don’t task yourself with changing your friend
4. Listen, listen, listen!
5. Get our of the house
6. Put yourself first
7. Be positive
8. Be a resource
9. Be respectful
10. A list of web resources is provided in the article
So there you have it. A few practical and helpful hints on how you can help be more supportive to your friend or loved ones. Give them a try and create some of your own.
-Stan
